Here recently it seems like everything just gets under my skin so quickly and easily. It’s not that I get mad and take it out on others, it’s just the fact that I’m constantly annoyed and stressed. Something as simple as the dogs tracking some mud through the house will just ruin my mood. I know some people who would just laugh it off and clean it up. Meanwhile I’ll get pissed that I didn’t wipe their feet and be mad the entire time I’m cleaning it up. This has nothing to do with the dogs, it just an example. Any number of seemingly insignificant things can trigger me like that. Like forgetting something at the store and having to go back. I would love to be able to go, “well that sucks” and just get over it.
As I’ve progressed from my early to mid 20s this is something I’ve really tried to focus on.
I was extremely reactive and volatile emotionally, and a single thing could fuck up my entire day. Between my brain doing its last bit of developing, and getting a hold of my generalized anxiety disorder and depressive disorder through therapy, I’ve gone from, “this fucking sucks” before having break downs in the worst case to, “I can feel bad once it’s fixed, but it’s gotta be fixed first”.
This is definitely a healthier mindset, but I catch myself trying to fix things that just can’t be fixed. Sometimes you just gotta let go, so that’s been my focus recently. It’s hard, but I think recognizing it has been a great first step.