I would like to add a description (details), but it would be a very long text.
In short: I have depression, multiple chronic illnesses, C-PTSD, ADHD (btw, I could treat it with Adderall/Adderall XL, but there all drugs are banned, even for medical purposes), no money to rent on my own, poor physical and mental health, some basic things I don’t have money for, I don’t have a computer and it seems that my laptop will soon broken…
I can’t go to a psychologist because… the quality of education and medicine in this country is terrible, and it’s dangerous to say “everything” here, my mother recently worked, but now she’s left without work and starts doing some kind of crap, she was the one who brought in the income until this time; she feeds me fast food. In this country everyone doesn’t give a sh*t about each other, I am surrounded by “broken” people, this is a country full of cynics, sociopaths, and narcissists (consider mentally ill… and genetically defective, apparently).
Like this… I am spoiled, my life and my future are spoiled.
Sadly, many many people, even in first world countries, struggle to attain financial stability their entire lives, and unfortunately most never do. But do not give up hope.
Do you have any friends or family in another country that can help you and your mother figure out how to legally leave your country to move to another as soon and affordably as possible? It may be an awkward phone call or letter or any way to communicate, but it is important to take this into real consideration. Sometimes a big change is necessary to make your opportunities in life more favorable to you.
How willing are you to work? If you think “there are jobs that I simply cannot do,” why do you think you cannot do them? Is it a legal or physical limitation, or is it because “I don’t want to?” Take any jobs you can, even if its not the job you want. Work hard and work often. You will probably have to take multiple jobs. See if you can help your mother to find work also.
Find a hobby you like. Not all hobbies cost money, some are as simple as star gazing. Whatever it is that you find interesting or enjoyable, try to do that in your spare time often. Hobbies can help you relax and take your mind off of daily worries. They can help improve your mental health, at least until you can afford a medical professional.
I won’t sugarcoat it, you have a tough road ahead of you. But put in the hard work and its possible you can change your situation. If you never believe you can change it and you never try, then you never will. But if you believe you can, and you try very hard, then maybe you can. A man can only get to his destination if he walks there, right? He won’t be going anywhere if he never moves.