trying to stop being so thin skinned:
I had an online discussion with a random, we had a short but intense exchange until he replied and then blocked me, robbing me of a chance to reply.
I feel hurt because I couldn’t reply. To me that means he won. I feel insulted and angry.
Yes, this is something I should talk to about with a shrink, but the therapist I contacted hasn’t replied yet, so I might have to start looking for a new one if this one ain’t reliable.
In the meantime I turn to the second best thing I can think of: this channel.
I can try to rationalize it: I cannot change it, I’m letting that guy live free in my mind, letting it go is the rational thing to do.
Except that here I’m not being rational, but emotional and I don’t know why this triggers me so much.
Not getting the last word triggers me. How would you solve this?
This is a tough one, that takes practice and mental discipline.
You’ve already acknowledged that you can’t change how things ended with this individual. Right now, you’re in a very natural place for humans to be: you’re feeling powerless, like someone has done something to you, and you want to blame that other person for how you’re feeling.
The bit that takes practice and discipline is that you CAN change how you choose to react to things like this. You can take accountability for your reactions and emotions.
Why is this irritating you so much? What is it about the exchange that annoyed you, and makes you wish you could reply? If you had the chance to reply, would you want to do the same thing - reply and block - or continue arguing? To what end? What outcome is it that you want?
Accepting reality starts with acknowledging there are things you can’t change. You’ve already said that, so you know this is the right path to continue going down.
The bit you need to try and take accountability for is understanding why you’re feeling the way you are. This isn’t about the person “robbing you” of the chance to reply. It’s about why you feel so strongly that you need to reply.
Until you know why this pissed you off so much, you can’t take meaningful steps to getting yourself into a better emotional state.
Edit: I feel bad that your OP is getting downvoted. You’ve asked a legitimate question about mental health, and some people are clearly writing you off as you having a whinge.
thank you. I appreciate the feeling.
I guess I also have to learn to ignore randoms who post whatever they assume as correct. It stings that posting a legitimate question triggers some people to post accusations, but that’s something neither I can control.
I don’t get why they want drama.