Pshh iPhone who would want that? My n95 has a flip out keyboard much better than some stupid touchscreen phone that doesn’t even have a camera.

Maybe it’s a horse box and the driver is a beastiality enthusiast.

Perhaps the borg are savagely ‘plugging’ things into various orifices sans anaesthetic. They truly are evil.

No its definitely a dog.

I ain’t gettin on no starship, fool!

Squatting over a mirror obviously, how else can you cut the dingleberries from your matted ass hair.

The largest gaping anus in the whole world.

I’ve started infinite jest several times, the last time I thought I’d try on my kindle to make the constant footnotes a bit easier to get back and forth from. Still only got 100 or so pages in. One day I’ll get there.

I had a letter today with the postman’s boot print on it. That is all.

I imagine there will be an influx at the end of the month when people’s favourite apps cease to be. Following that I hope for a slow steady growth.

Half way through my run of 7 nightshifts, I was hoping the nice weather would last until my days off but alas in the North of Scotland we’re returning to our damp grey usual.

Marmite straight in the bin, problem solved.

Ah I was just being glib to try and be humorous. Alas my “sense of humour” rarely gets the response looked for. I will keep working on it.

What I’m hearing is we need to set up some kind of formal governing body to properly enforce the grammar rules of English. Maybe Hugo boss could make some uniforms.

Remember if someone makes a gi Jane joke try not to smack them upside the head.

I used 4chan when I was younger but trying to go back after reddit was super depressing, I lasted about 5 minutes.