Sour grapes

Acute toxins fact sheet, guide to identifying snipe flies, several issues of Computer Gaming World from 1987, and 2 separate copies of the schematics for a Kenmore 148-1937.1 sewing machine.

That’s pretty fucking irresponsible

Arms akimbo?

Meninges

At my local pet crematory, I was able to pick which service I preferred. Having your pet cremated by itself is much more expensive so they give the option to have them cremated together with other animals to save money (or actually be able to afford it)

FOM THE WINDOWWWW TO THE WALL!

Trebuchet?

Fleas caused the death of my cat. A coworker generously brought a sample of her infestation in to the office and they must have hitched a ride home with me. My cats were indoor only, I didn’t expect them to need flea treatment. The fleas gave him hemobartonella and almost $20,000 later, we couldn’t get the anemia under control.

Nuke the fleas.

Make sure they are native seeds for the area you’re doing this in!

Could it have been a heron or a crane? When they fly their legs trail out behind them and their feet make them look a bit like a clubbed tail.

I didn’t know I was lactose intolerant for a long time. I used to have a carton of milk at morning break every day and release absolutely rancid SBDs afterward. One day was particularly impressive - the guy I had a crush on proclaimed it was so bad that if it had been his he would have named it.

You can get Hantavirus from their dried urine, saliva, and feces though

Never thought I’d see that song as being optimistic

Capybaras maybe?

The guy in the cubicle next to me sounds like he’s dying. I have my desk fan pointed in his direction in a likely fruitless attempt to keep from being colonized by whatever noxious beasties he is fogging the air with.

Aren’t reusable straws difficult to sanitize? I’ve always wondered

Osteoporosis is a big one.

Large turds are used to making a big splash