Perhaps I live in a bubble of pessimism, but — isn’t the looming collapse of civilization well-known, and essentially a certainty?

Jamie Dimon is a wealthy old fart who never worked a day in his plush lazy life. What he says interests me less than analyzing my neighbor’s dog’s poop as its eaten by bugs.

Seems clever and feasible to me. I suppose you’d need background checks on the passenger-couriers, but after that small hurdle, unless it’s an urgent package like a pizza, transit riders could get anything across any city in an hour or so.

Where do I sign up?

A novel approach. It would slow me down, certainly, if I was driving there, or walking.

It’s kinda funny, and I laughed.

It’s also shit journalism — the article doesn’t say what McDonald’s posted this sign or enacted this policy. Maybe some McDonald’s did, but when there’s no attempt at sniffing out a who - what - where - why - when, it’s piffle.

Any schmoe anywhere could’ve made the sign using Microsoft Paint.

The article is a laugh, but it isn’t news until someone says where it happened…