PrunesMakeYouPoop

I mean, you kinda were.

https://fmhy.net/readingpiracyguide

Dying in the woods alone please.

Ratatat

I feel like I’d get robbed at the bus stops near where I live.

Depends on the chair, I suppose. It definitely worked on the chairs I had in the US Navy back in 2006.
It doesn’t matter though, you’re still farting in their chair either way.

1. Wait until you have to fart while coworker is away from desk.
2. Position sphincter directly above the tube in the office chair.
3. Lower chair as far as it will go.
4. Fart as you raise the chair as high as it will go, sucking the gassy shit particles into the tube.
5. Walk away.
6. Watch the carnage when coworker sits and lowers the chair.

Clear tape works really well, because the mouse will still work, but terribly.

experts exchange dot com

It’s funny how this wasn’t a problem back in the days before customers were expected to act as unpaid employees.