RiverGhost

A quick test for this is, are you good at making a good first impression or short time of friendship and then it kinda falls off with time? If yes, masking is likely in play.

Can confirm. This is my entire life.

I don’t like it, haven’t really needed it, prefer public transport and have terrible motor skills.

I really enjoyed reading your story. It’s honest about your faults and kind to yourself at the same time. I hope I can find a way to see my own life in a similar way.

I get it, most of my life I’ve had episodes that are more like yours, and my brain just found this and it doesn’t want to let go for a reason. The first couple of months I thought it was the best escape, but once I realized I couldn’t stop, I’ve been despairing. I feel like I’m going mad but more quietly rather than explosively.

Daydreaming. I’m sick of it, but I keep going there.

I don’t see anything mentally unhealthy about what you do, sounds cool.

You painted these yourself? They look so good! (I haven’t seen the originals).

I agree, but I think I understand why I do it.

TL:DR Maladaptive behavior that is however ultimately harmless since I don’t bother people.

I was a “gifted child”; was always like 2 school years ahead, started uni at 15 and every single person I met would praise me for being the youngest. I was immature so it got to my head. I also have always looked much younger than I am, which also invites comments. Finally, I also have AuDHD and I’m constantly anxious about not acting my age and being too immature. So I try to look at other people’s ages to guide me in how I’m supposed to behave.

All of this is maladaptive and I’ve gotten a lot better with time, and I’m still working on it, but I’m not particularly bothered about the actual fact of having an interest in people’s ages. I make sure I don’t ask them about it or bother them about it, but many just offer this information on their own.

It’s probably normal to forget. I am probably the odd one in that I’m always very aware of my age and I’m almost 40. I’m also acutely aware of the ages of people around me, and (very mildly) uncomfortable if I don’t know someone’s age.

We ordered a Librem 5 in 2017 and still nothing.

We even requested for a refund in 2022; still no answer. No communication at all. Don’t even know what to do about it in terms of legal processes, it was certainly not an insignificant amount of money for us.

Not op but at least in Sweden we often get 6 months trial employment and after that they are honestly kind of stuck with us (cannot really fire us unless very specific things happen). So you can actually get some better conditions as they do want you to do the job and can not just replace you. If all fails you can also get help from the union.

Unprompted, I make a weird “surprise” face that freaks him out for some reason.

I do read extremely fast in my native language (Spanish). Feels like entire sentences go straight into concepts and my brain builds a whole world based on what I’m reading.

However I started reading in a verbalized way with my second and third languages (English and Swedish) because I was completely useless at pronunciation, while reading at a high level. So I had to learn the sounds and they started invading my reading, which I sort of resent.

But the verbalization is still very mild; faint, monotone, non-enunciated.

Some people talked about poetry and I hadn’t considered that my absolute lack of poetry-sense could be related. People have told me about the metrics and whatnot and it really doesn’t click. I have to sort of analyze a poem and explain it to myself in prose, and I imagine that defeats the purpose of poetry?

People say that the point of activity pub is federation but to me that also means voluntary federation. The possibility of federation. What I dream for it is an option to opt-in instead of opt-out. You should be able to pick “opt-out” if you want a big, connected place. You can have your cake and eat it too by also keeping an account in a big instance of your choice. Most apps let you switch accounts with a tap or two.

We don’t all want to be thrown into the world all the time; complete federation just makes it a safe space for majority populations and marginalizes minorities by default. No, I’m not saying you’re all evil and exclude people on purpose, it just happens. It happens to me too.

Some of you seem to think that marginalized people are too soft and want a safe space, but you fail to notice that largely, you also have a safe space for yourself, it’s just that you probably belong to the default in many areas (I am sighted and most of the internet is made for sighted people).

I grew up in a small forum; people should be able to choose to keep things small, and open in a controlled way. Because that’s the beauty of activity pub, you can still federate with others!

I understand the very practical problem of lack of moderation tools and to me that’s pretty much the only reason to leave, for now. Maybe come back if it gets better?

Logseq has worked best for me and my ADHD so far.

Now that I think about it, I had to tweak some settings for HZD according to some guide, but I don’t remember exactly what I did. After that, it worked quite well. Perhaps it wasn’t 60 fps but 40? For me that was good enough.

It could still depend on standards. For example people seem to say Rimworld is great on the Deck but I absolutely disagree.

Tried Hollow Knight for the first time on the Deck, it works so well!

I’m not even specially good at gaming but I thought Hornet (a Hollow Knight boss) was quite enjoyable and not that hard and I wonder if it has to do with the Deck controls, since everyone has mentioned how difficult that one is (I did find all other bosses very difficult so this is not a boast).

Edit to mention that Horizon: Zero Dawn is another one that I only tried with the Deck and it also works really well, though this one consumes a lot more battery compared to HK.

In a way i can see why you think you’re lucky as you will suffer less in these terrible times, but damn, there are so many things I want to do in life that I’ll run out of time before I run out of things.

I am also a millenial and have a decent non-shitty job, but I’d drop that in a second if I didn’t need it. It takes such a chunk of my life.

I honestly wish we had a steam controller that was more like the deck. I could never really get used to the Steam controller while I love using the deck. Can’t really put my finger on what it is about it though.

The website also put me off, I only kept at it because my partner was already using it and it looked solid enough. I even asked “Are you sure this is the logseq? It looks so…idk Marketing?”

But so far I just seem to use it a lot, and the more I use it the more useful I find it, especially after learning how to add tags (didn’t seem particularly obvious in the docs), and after finally getting into the flow of using Syncthing.