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I took care of one of the best friends I ever had at the end of his life, right when Covid hit and all that. He was a tough dude to handle on a good day, and I once told him in a fight (long before his illness knocked him down) that if I were catholic and could convince folks that I had performed a miracle, they’d make me a saint when I died for the patience required to be his friend. Any time he’d get angry at me he’d bring it up too haha. “Old saint angryeal the patient over here!” :p

It was tough. There were times when I thought things that I’d have to feel guilty about for weeks. I don’t anymore, because we talked and he acknowledged that he was a nightmare. He said, “I’ve ran everyone that ever loved me right out the door. I grew up hard and I guess I learned that if you always strike first no one could catch you off guard. You’re my best friend and I love you. I know you’ve wanted to kill me at times, but without you I wouldn’t have made it this far and I want you to know that I appreciate it more than I’ve appreciated anything in my life.”

There were times when I’d grit my teeth and it took everything in me to keep from losing it. Especially when he’d go to the hospital and then lie about his alcohol addiction, become delirious and demand to be released, I’d go get him, he’d regain his sanity and then cry. Finally, he decided to be honest and they medicated him. In his last days they even brought some of his favorite beer for him. He’d say, “I’ll be dead soon.” I’d remind him that he was too mean to die, the devil didn’t want him haha.

As hard as it was, I wouldn’t trade the time I got to spend with him for anything.

When I was young and I got strung out on heroin, he took care of me and kept me out of a lot of trouble. I owed him more than I could ever give.

Years before that, I took care of my ex’s father as he died from ALS and Parkinson’s. That was seriously, seriously hard to do. He couldn’t care for himself at all. He was so sad about being an inconvenience to anyone. “I’m so sorry you have to do this. I’m so so sorry.” That was the hardest part in that. I told him to think of my body as an extension of his own, but I know he never could.

He also took care of me when I was younger. I was homeless as a teenager and he took me in. He took in a lot of people. When I walked into his tiny little house to sleep, there were so many people there it was unreal. I slept on the floor in the living room with four other dudes he was looking out for. Some of them showed up to beg him for his medication while he was dying. It was insane. I hid his painkillers in my wood stove under some ash in the back. My house was broken into at least 6 different times by people looking for those pills. I hated them so much, then became an addict myself just around the corner and understood at least why they were all such monsters. Didn’t excuse them of course, but understood them.

I know I just said a whole lot of nothing. I guess I just wanted to say that I’m on the other side of twice being a caretaker. I’m sure I’ll have to do it again eventually. I’m very close with my uncle and he has a lot of money so I’m sure I’ll be fighting off parasites with him one day and dealing with all of that. Anyway, when I’m on my deathbed, regardless of the circumstances, I will die proud for having cared for the people I cared for no matter how hard it was or is in a moment. I won’t let myself sit and regret that I’m nobody, because at least twice in my life I have actually mattered and provided honest to god comfort to someone in this world that we all suffer in.

I have nothing but respect for people who do that day in and day out.

Sorry for this useless book. Y’all be good.

Yeah only a handful of folks in professional sports end up being celebrities. Most of them just collect their check and live it up quietly, doing the occasional interview that gets watched by 20 people or so. :p

I’d love that life.

Buddy of mine is in the nfl. He’s been recognized like twice in 4ish years.

Oh and the one guy got the team wrong so I’m half thinking someone else recognized him first and just didn’t say anything.

I meant as game really, kind of like deer. Permits and such for hunting. But I appreciate your comment as I did not know any of this.

My god that is disturbing.

Would have been a very awesome source of beef if properly sustained.

This is almost identical to what I said to my kid. I explained that it would be a process for both of us and he would need to be as patient with me as I was with him.

My kid has not spoken to me in 4 years. Two slip ups (said she or her twice accidentally) and me saying I was just going to avoid pronouns until it sunk in. Nope. “Fuck you dad. You’ll never see me again.”

His mother messed him all up though. We were very young when she got pregnant (I was 15) and naturally we didn’t make it as a couple.

He was allowed to eat family packs of Reece’s multiple times a day until he was so overweight it was ungodly. I was the bad guy for trying to do anything about it. He had to have a meal separate from everyone his entire life. If the family was having baked chicken and vegetables, my son was having ramen noodles or chicken nuggets. The body issues started there. When I refused and said, “Eat with the rest of us and eat healthy or I can’t help you. I can’t in good conscience feed you pop tarts and ramen for dinner.” Mom used this to paint me as some kind of monster who was starving my kid.

When the kid got to middle school those kids ate him alive. He ended up developing an eating disorder and starving/surviving on lettuce. Mom finally decided it was time to do therapy and blamed me for it. “You just had to make a big deal about what he ate!”

My kid has been spoiled and turned into a self obsessed person who I don’t recognize and I’d cut a foot off to just have my kid back. He’s an adult though, and I can’t change any of it.

All I can do at this point is hope that he regrets this one day but I don’t have much hope. That kid could have a best friend and love them with everything, and then just cut it off like it was nothing over some small thing and never speak to that person again, so my hope is very small.

Sorry to spill all that here. This just made me spin when I read it.

All I can do to show my love is keep paying for the services. (Netflix, Spotify, Hulu, etc.) And it wouldn’t surprise me at all if he’s laughing at me for it, but I’m happy to be doing something, anything. As silly and small as it is, it’s all I have left.

Y’all take care and if a trans kid reads this and can relate to this story, please don’t skip on your family because things aren’t going the speed you like. My kid stopped talking to everyone in my family overnight and never had a conversation with anyone but me. I get that it can be hard and I’m certain there are people who you will have to leave behind, but don’t cut your lifeline/support network and burn bridges unnecessarily. You could end up regretting it and causing yourself and everyone else a lot of unnecessary pain.

Bedbug bus? :p

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Awwww you should’ve left the comment alone.

I love you!

His hugs can be attractive I guess.

I heard he was actually a descendent of Jafar.

Did u not no he wuz muslin anticrist? Borned in kinya? Hoosain? Do u forgot?

Do ur gramma not send u this?

Duh!

Wut bout not my present shirt? U not get 1?

Man I wish we could go back and get Bernie. :(

Damn. I haven’t built a new computer in 10 years.

Are we seriously here now? DAAAAAAMN

I got old.

Oh, and your rifle gets all slippery!

Heeeeey. There might be a role for me after all.

I want it in Source at 800x600 on my end. CRT please.

Me too, and I’ve only hit one kid. Launched him about 15 feet and he survived. All i experienced was a thud and I seen a skateboard and kid flying side by side.

I’ve accidentally killed like 3 pedestrians and 4 deer in mine. I wonder what the national average is.

Seriously, only one of the deer damaged the grill. The people just rolled right under it, except for the kid of course.

All he had to do was acknowledge their differences and keep his mouth shut. That’s the rule in my family. Someone brings up politics and we say, “let’s not do that.” and move on. If they insist, they end up on the porch alone, grumbling to themselves.

Or he’s making it up.

I made my mother cry because she voted for Trump and I expressed my disapproval. She called my sister, who also voted for Harris, and my sister made her cry a second time.

We’re all having dinner tomorrow and we won’t bring up politics.

It’s fucking stupid to turn your back on your family over politics.

I think my mom made a stupid decision. Oh well. She thinks I made a stupid decision.

If your politics define you so much that you abandon your people or you’re not disciplined enough to keep your mouth shut at family events where you’ll convince no one, that’s on you.

They bring it up and end up having a bad day, that’s on them. We simply agree to avoid politics and religion. It’s not that hard.

Edit: We’re doomed. We really are.

Man, I don’t even know if I could sit down and count the folks that I knew personally who died from Covid. Shit was crazy.